Playing with Conflict

Photo by Winky Lewis
  • On a scale from 1–10, how much trust is in this system? Why?
  • Is persistent blame and/or defensiveness present?
  • Based on your answers, discern if this system is ready to engage in constructive conflict. If not, go to step two.
  • Mine for common ground and common interests.
  • Show an openness to compromise.
  • Put the relationship above your agenda.
  • PRACTICE DEEP DEMOCRACY: Listen to all the perspectives and experiences present before jumping to a position.
  • SHARE THE DREAM: There is always a dream behind a complaint or conflict. Allow opposing parties to share their dream for the outcome they want to achieve.
  • FIND COLLECTIVE SOLUTIONS: Brainstorm collective solutions and agree to experiment with several different options.
  • FOLLOW THROUGH: Put these options and actions into motion and check in with all parties involved to ensure the conflict is being addressed.
  • Think of a conflict you had with someone or some group where trust was at the foundation. How did that end?
  • Think of a current conflict you are avoiding. What did you learn from the above that you can utilize to face this conflict and steer the discussion towards a collaborative solution?

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