Playing with Conflict

Photo by Winky Lewis
  • Is there respect in this system? How do I know this?
  • On a scale from 1–10, how much trust is in this system? Why?
  • Is persistent blame and/or defensiveness present?
  • Based on your answers, discern if this system is ready to engage in constructive conflict. If not, go to step two.
  • Listen to the other person’s point of view.
  • Mine for common ground and common interests.
  • Show an openness to compromise.
  • Put the relationship above your agenda.
  • PUT THE CONFLICT OUT IN FRONT: Put the conflict out in front, instead of in between you. Join together define and clarify what this conflict is about and agree to solve it together vs. from opposing sides.
  • PRACTICE DEEP DEMOCRACY: Listen to all the perspectives and experiences present before jumping to a position.
  • SHARE THE DREAM: There is always a dream behind a complaint or conflict. Allow opposing parties to share their dream for the outcome they want to achieve.
  • FIND COLLECTIVE SOLUTIONS: Brainstorm collective solutions and agree to experiment with several different options.
  • FOLLOW THROUGH: Put these options and actions into motion and check in with all parties involved to ensure the conflict is being addressed.
  • Name a conflict you had with someone or some group where trust was not present. How did it end?
  • Think of a conflict you had with someone or some group where trust was at the foundation. How did that end?
  • Think of a current conflict you are avoiding. What did you learn from the above that you can utilize to face this conflict and steer the discussion towards a collaborative solution?

--

--

--

Your life should be deeply fulfilling — not tolerated. Partner with Kismet to dismantle fear, define your path, and lead with courage.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Doing Right by Your Employees

Susan Melnick of StatusNow: “Find other female leaders who understand exactly what you’re going…

Inspiring vision, part 7: Define the needed steps

You will never reach your destination if…

Great CEO’s Realize the World Doesn’t Revolve Around Them

Managers confuse “coaching” with “micromanaging”

How the Best Bosses Communicate

Not in the People Business? You’re Still in the Business of People!

At the core of EVERY organization from fortune 500 companies to neighborhood families — is people.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Kismet

Kismet

Your life should be deeply fulfilling — not tolerated. Partner with Kismet to dismantle fear, define your path, and lead with courage.

More from Medium

Dear Social Anxiety — We Need to Talk

How do we deal with feeling a

To Act Locally

If pam wears a green hat, and Jeff dislikes triangles, what are Mindy’s hopes and dreams?